


Just an Empty Soul

by Katakatica



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Trauma, Creepy, Dark, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Original Character Death(s), Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protectiveness, Scary Sans, Self-Harm, Self-Insert, sans is insane, sans knows everything
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-13 00:39:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 16,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5687905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katakatica/pseuds/Katakatica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Toriel believes that her ex-husband has just found another excuse to visit her at the dead of night, she is shocked to see the broken human in Asgore's hand. Struggling to find out just what had caused such scars on the poor thing's soul, she realises that nothing is as easy as it seems. The Overworld is far more complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Night has already fallen: the moon was up high in the air, gracing the snowy streets with its gentle light. As every night since they had been freed from the Underground, Toriel sat by the window, a book in her paws and a sleepy Frisk curled up on her lap. She felt a gentle peace swallow her, coaxing her into falling asleep, but her soul refused. It had become a ritual to her: read a story to her sweet child , gazing at the sky she had not seen for so many years. She was content with the life she had, albeit it was not as easy as many had predicted. Humans have always been a little... anxious, when it came to things - or creatures - they did not know. It took plenty of hard work from both sides - humans _and_ monsters - to create a calm atmospthere. It was still a little tense, but everything was coming together. Slowly.

Frisk stirred on their mother's lap a little, little fists going up to rub at their eyes sleepily. The child, when not facing direct danger, turned out to be rather dependent on others. They were still very adventorous and had a cheeky side, but as Asgore like to say, they liked to be _pampered._

At the thought of her ex-husband, the past queen of all monsters let out a sigh. She would have never guessed that finally getting to the surface would cause her to reunite with the monster she had learnt to despise with every fibre of her body, but fate worked in mysterious ways. Before she knew it, she had herself swept off her feet once more. Of course, she had not forgiven fully yet: she was not sure if she ever could, really. However, her soul was holding less and less remorse and hatred: the darkness was being swept away by the gentle breeze of affection, compassion...Love.

Just as she was about to stand up, deeming her ritual done for the day, Toriel's phone rang. It was quite late: she wondered just who could be bothering her at such an hour. Within moments, guessing that it was an emergency, she was balancing her phone and Frisk on her lap, a tired sigh escaping her when she realized that it was just Asgore. At any other time of the day, she would have been glad to talk to him - albeit, she definitely would have refused to agree with that fact had someone else been teasing her - but it was way into the night, and Frisk needed to be put into bed. Many times, late-night calls turned into midnight meetins, which would usually end up in the little _family_ falling asleep at the start of dawn, splayed out on the couch or Toriel's bed.

"Dreemurr, what do you want?" Toriel asked, trying to push as much annoyance into her voice as she could. It was hard when she was not bothered at the least deep down: her cheeks were already flushed a soft rosey color. She was waiting for the usual answer, the sweet _I miss you, Tori_ , but it did not come.

"Tori, I found a broken human," Asgore's voice was softer than usual, shaken too. He had always been like this, but rarely so... panicked. He _was_ a king, after all, or at least he had been one some years ago. Humans cared little about royal titles by then.

"A broken...human?" Toriel felt her breath catch in her throat. Despite how most seemed to leave monsters alone, she knew how cruel humans still were up to that day. She had seen too many reports on the TV: burglars, murderers and worse seemed to roam the streets, looking for their next preys. It was petrifying, in a way. It wasn't as safe as back down under the ground.

"Yeah, a broken human," Asgore chuckled nervously, but his voice cracked."It's a girl, too. Can I bring her to your place? You know more about healing humans. I'm not sure if I should take her to the hospital, can't even find her papers..."

"I'll be getting ready for her, but whether or not I can help will have to depend on how she is," knowing that her ex-husband was capable of exaggerating often, Toriel decided to check up on the girl first. Maybe she had just fallen a little and the poor guy did not know what to do with her. After all, he was quite... clueless sometimes.

"Thanks, Tori," she heard the other monster mumble gratefully."We'll be there in ten. I was... already on my way to your place."

"I'm not even surprised, Fluffybuns." the nickname slipped out, but Toriel did not mind it. If anything, she giggled softly when Frisk stared up at her with wide, quizzical eyes. The child had heard the nickname often, yes, but not recently. It was odd to see their mother figure so flushed, too. She rarely ever let her guard down like that.

"Guess we are getting visitors tonight," Toriel said with a small giggle."You can stay up, but not too much!" Frisk pumped their little fists in the air, lips forming an 'oh'.

It took them a few minutes to get into a bit less comfortable clothes - Toriel had shed her nightgown and pulled on a comfortable gown of hers in a deep, purple color, while Frisk was clad in a pair of sweat-pants and a cute, striped shirt. The preparation was void of any fear: by then, the past queen was sure that Asgore was merely being a silly fool again. Probably, the flustered king would end up escorting the human home the next day and all would be alright...

Nothing could have prepared her for the sight of the battered little body in the large monster's hands. She could see a faint rise and fall of the girl's chest. Blood seemed to cover every inch of her bare body.

"Frisk, go to your room! Now!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which not even Toriel is sure if she can help the human.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: graphic mentions of wounds / scars + very brief mentions of rape (barely there, but still there)

 

Frisk was quite good at understanding situations despite their young age: the poor child knew that something was very wrong. It was not often that they were sent to their room: most of the adult business Toriel had could be done with them there. After all, even at the tender age of _eight_ Frisk had lived through many things already. Wandered through the Underworld, freed all monsters, became their friend and ambassador. It was quite obvious that there were not many things that they had yet to experience for the first time - besides the quite obvious things they truly were not old enough yet, like drinking alcohol.

It was almost as if Frisk was already an adult, just child-sized. And yet, when the human girl had been brought in, the clueless ambassador had been sent off. Was the situation really that serious? Frisk was no fool: they knew that despite their strong souls, humans were very, very fragile. Blood that colored skin and hair the deepest, wildest shade of crimson could not mean good.

And yet, Frisk refused to leave. They hid behind the door, crouching down so it was harder to spot them. It did not go unnoticed by Asgore, however. He already knew just sneaky the child he loved as his own could be.

"Tori, I'll take Frisk to their room, okay?" he asked, voice low enough for the little eavesdropper not to hear it. Toriel just nodded, concernt and fear flashing in her eyes as she tried to think of where to start. The poor human child looked battered. She had never seen such damage.. not even back in the Underground. It was a miracle that the girl was still alive.

And yet, Toriel wasn't sure if she would survive much longer. Sure, she seemed to possess a fighting spirit and a strong, albeit colorless soul, but she seemed so tiny like that. Just skin and bones, a bloody mess.

It took about an hour to clean away every little droplet of blood from the paperthin skin of the girl. By then, Toriel had long wiped away her tears of shock. The poor thing was clad in gashes, bruises. Her skin was pale as snow, but only a few inches were not darkened by black or blue. The worst was her back: a series of deep cuts ran from her back down to her bottom. They were all an angry red in color, blood seeping out of the most of them. They were fresh. Her front was less damaged, hips had the marks of hands imprinted as if they had been there for a long, long time, thighs had dark bruises. The monster knew too well what those marks meant, but she tried her hardest to not think of it. The poor girl was just so, so... little. Her clothes had been mere rags, and she had been barefoot.  Toes frozen, feet clad in tiny cuts and bruises. It was petrifying to see just how much terror a human's body could live through.

Toriel promised herself that she would never allow anyone to hurt the poor girl. Her motherly instincts burnt in her very soul strongly as she took care of each gash and cut gently. The first time the girl let out a tiny whine of pain, almost like a hurt puppy - like Lesser Dog when Papyrus had accidentally stepped on his paw - Toriel flinched back, eyes widening. At first, she thought that the girl was waking up. Joy brewed in her gaze as she waited for the poor thing's eyes to flutter open, for her to move a little, to show that she could hold on a little older. By then, the monster was already sure that they would have to take the girl to the hospital. She just wanted to clean her up a little. For some reason, she had a feeling that the little one would not feel happy if many others saw her in such a state. And well, cleaning and bandaging, the past queen could easily handle. She also knew of many herbs that could have helped ease the pain, but many were not found in town.

The girl remained unconscios even as Toriel dressed her in loose clothing, however, and did not even stir when she was laid down on the couch. Asgore was there by that time, his expression so sad, so lost.

"Oh Fluffybuns," Toriel whispered."This child, she has been hurt so much. And not by claws or teeth. Poor creature. Haunted by her own kin, just how scary can it be?" Asgore just wrapped his arms around _his queen_ , hiding his face in her fur that, after so many years, was still as soft as silk.

Right now, the monster who used to be the king of his kind, the very one who had killed six humans in hope of being free, was praying for a single girl's life. His heart clenched as he glanced down at the broken form of the young girl, probably just on her way to become a woman.

"Some of her scars had been old," Toriel whispered."Almost as if she had been hurt for months...years. Just how did you found her?"

"She was by the trash, not so far from here," Asgore replied, voice growing darker, deeper."She... she lay there like a doll. At first she was some kind of a doll, but then she woke up for a moment. She stared at me, Tori. Stared at me with her eyes wide in fear... pleaded for my help. I couldn't leave her there, not when I was the only one who seemed to notice. Tori, I... I wanted to save her but my mind was just... blank"

"I know, I know.." Toriel whispered."No one is supposed to look like this. Not even the worst of people. Even if dust stuck to her hands, I would not like to see her this way. But it's so obvious that she could not even hurt a fly. I can just... feel it."

Asgore hang his head low as his large paw gently took the human's small hand."A pure soul like her should never be bothered." he said, voice low.

Toriel could not say anything to him after that for a while. She just stared at the girl, throat tight, eyes teary. She was about to grab her phone and finally call an ambulance, accepting the fact that even her help was not enough in this case, when the door flung open.

Sans stood there, left eye alit in blue flames, frame shaking like a leaf.

He yelled a name, that of a girl. It was a desperate cry, and Toriel knew that it was directed to the human.

But no answer came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *shuffles away in embarrasment* so I'm supposed to be studying History (Korean, too) now, but I felt the need to write this chapter. I'm actually debating whether I want to write the rest in third or second POV, I know that most 'you' fics are generally second, but this style is so much closer to my heart. Sans appeared finally, and he isn't pleased :3  
> (little note: I am still really new to this site, so please if I'm doing anything wrong (like my tagging is bad or anything, never really did anything like this before) feel free to tell me. I'm still a clueless...babybones on this :P


	3. Waking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which her eyes flutter open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: very very brief mentions of being hurt

It was cold. She hated it. Her mind was hazy and her entire body seemed to be aching: nothing out of ordinary. Such a long time had passed since she last had been gifted the comfort of feeling warm, of feeling safe... And yet, her brain was slowly taking in little things that seemed to be off about her surroundings. For one: whatever she was lying on was soft, fluffy like clouds looked from apart. The air around her was void of the stench of smoke: her lungs were still not used to the foul haze. They still craved for fresh air like it was luxury.

She could hear talking, too. The voices were hushed and alien to her: she was sure that she had not heard any of them before. She could only make out a word or two of what was being said. It had been too long since she had last heard words other than orders being barked at her.

Suddenly, as she was finally willing her eyes to open - or at least attempt to flutter a little, to show that she was awake, that she was there, too - she felt something cool brush against her sweaty forehead.

"I don't want to let anymore humans around her, not until we know who hurt her," a deep voice uttered lowly. It was the one that had said the least until then. She could only make out about half of what the voice had said, but somehow they reassured her. After all...

She was shaken out of her hazy thoughts by another, softer voice speaking up in a gentle, soothing manner.

"Sans, you know well that we have to take her to the hospital. I don't know how you know her, or why don't you want her to be seen by the doctors, but we can't do anything right now," poor lady - it was definitely a female voice, the girl could assume that much from the sweet ring of it - seemed so... remorseful? As if she was regretting something. Still, it was hard for the girl to wrap her mind around what was going on. She knew what a hospital was, yes, but she never understood their concept fully. After all, anyone who was taken to one was sure to never return. She did not want that, at all.

"N..no!" it was her own whisper, but her voice seemed awfully unfamiliar. After all, it was not often that she was aloud to speak up. She could vaguely recall whimpering something to a blurred figure the last time she had been aware of what was going on around her, but she wasn't quite sure if she had beent truly awake then, or merely dreaming. After all, she had been out in the _streets_ in her twisted vision. She had felt cold concrete on her skin, the chilly air, too. She had been free...

But she was quite sure that she had been merely hallucinating. After all, the aches, the burns... they were still there. If anything, they had only gotten worse. It was weird. Her lungs hurt badly from the small _task_ she had just accomplished - by alerting the people who were around her not to take her to a hospital.

She waited patiently for a praise. After all, she probably had done the right thing for once, by speaking up. Hospital, despite how there was no way out from it, cost money. Or so she had been told before. Maybe her memories were merging together, maybe nonsense thoughts were rampaging in her mind because of the blinding pain she had but... She wanted so badly to be told that she was good. Just once.

"Hey, you're up?" a third voice asked. It was the very one she had heard in her dream? the one in which she had been free and begging for help still."Child, do you think you can open your eyes for us?"

She obeyed very slowly, the sharp light of the lamp that hung above her causing a dull ache in the back of her skull. She raised a hand to tap the sore spot as if that could help, movements incredibly sluggish. The first thing she realised was how the people who were leaning above her were not like her. They were different... Two had fur and the third was just...bones? Without any meat or skin? She had never seen anyone like them before and it was slightly frigthening. But in her weak, still dizzy state, she could not think of anything to do other than obeying whatever command they gave her. After all, that's what she had always been told to do.

"Good," she heard.  The voice came from the figure who only had bones as parts of their body. It was definitely a male judged by the voice, but it was not what stunned the girl. While the bone-man was grinning like many men she had seen before, his mouth had not moved an inch when he spoke. He may only have said a single word, but still. She had no idea what was going on. Probably, her mind was playing tricks on her. It was scary.

She wanted to scream but she knew that she was not allowed to do that. However, suddenly, a gentle hand grabbed hers. It was that of the fur-clad animal lady who was smiling at her kindly.

"It's alright, my child. Everything is alright. Don't ever be scared as long as you can see us, alright?"

Despite having not understood half of what she had been told, she managed to nod just a little, hoping that she did the right thing. After all, she could not afford to be hurt again. She did not want to sink back into the _void_ again.

Not until she was sure that there was no way back from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys :D this definitely was not my best chapter, I have to admit I only wrote it so I can say I did something today (other than getting an A at Korean History xD). I'm really dead right now, we sort of went out to.. celebrate stuff.  
> Okay, personal stuff aside I still have no idea if I'm doing this site right to be honest xD it's so fun but so complicated :D Hope I get used to it (90 kudos at this fic tho..my new record O.O so weird, I thought people would hate it xD)


	4. All Smiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Toriel gets confused and Sans knows more than he lets on.

Toriel wished badly for a power that was strong enough to wipe the scars and cuts off the poor human's body and cleanse her spirit. It would have been so much easier than waiting for everything to heal then scab over and leave marks in the end. A couple days had passed since Asgore had stumbled upon the poor, poor creature, and she was mostly sleeping with Sans by her side. Even when her temperature rose and she wheezed for air with droplets of sweat running down her flushed flesh, the skeleton had refused to let humans take care of her. Why? The past queen had no idea.

The girl was slowly healing on the outside, but things were not going as smoothly as Toriel had hoped so.While awake, she was mostly peaceful and almost like a child, curious at the world, at everything that surrounded her. It was endearing to say the least. However, it was not always like that.

 At times, she would start screaming with her eyes open wide and throat quickly going dry, body spasming violently. She seemed to be suffering from nightmares even when she was awake. Sans's presence usually helped her calm down, but sometimes even that was not enough. To begin with, it was quite weird that the skeleton could silence the poor human just with a few sweet words and pats on messy hair. As if he knew what to do, as if he had been through it a thousand times... Shaking her head, the monster pushed her thoughts aside as she bent down to take care of the poor soul's wounds once more.

"She's healing," she remarked to Sans softly, a fond smile growing on her lips as the girl stirred a bit, fear, for once, not present in her eyes as they opened.

"O..oh." mumbled the human quietly, a tiny hand going up to rub at her eyes. Despite how the bandages were still wrapped tight around her wrists - they had been a little bruised, nothing too bad and luckily Toriel had the perfect ointment for them - the action did not radiate even an ounce of pain or sorrow. The girl, at the moment, was merely..adorable.

"I see that you are awake again, my child!" Toriel said with a small grin, chuckling when those wide eyes blinked innocently and the girl nodded just a little."It is nice to see you with us again. Would you care to eat or drink anything now?"

The hope that flashed up vividly in those bright orbs was incredibly. Toriel had never seen such a thing: not even when she had offered to take care of the very first fallen human, many years ago. She let out a soft sigh at the thought, quickly pushing the memories away. She knew very well that _that_ human was long gone. But now, she had another child to take care of...

"F..food, please." the girl's whisper finally tore the ex-queen out of her muddy thoughts. Voice soft and cheeks blushing lightly, the human resembled a child: innocence was so clear in her sparkling eyes. Almost as if she had not been hurt as much as she had been.

Sans just sat there without a word, eyes set on the girl's bed. He only moved a bit when Toriel left for food, leaning closer just a bit.

"Look, kid, I know you don't remember me, but please, trust us, okay?" his voice was low but almost frantic. After all, he knew what could happen if were not to convince the girl that all was okay. He had seen it happen before. But this time, he wanted to prevent it so badly.

"I trust. You." the girl mumbled weakly. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say: after all, she barely even understood him. Her mind was fuzzy yet blank, void of many things she knew she was supposed to know. After all, there had been a time, way, way back when she had not been like this. She knew it. She could not remember, but she knew it.

"I know, kid. I know," the skeleton let out a sigh as he ruffled the girl's hair gently, uttering her name as if it was the sweetest, most precious thing on the whole plant."But sometime I doubt that you actually get what we are talking to you about."

The girl just blinked at him, her eyes still filled with the hope of eating something. She rarely concentrated on more things than one, or so Toriel had noticed. The goat-like monster was standing behind the door with a tray of light soup in her hands. She had hoped that she would hear Sans talk about how he knew the girl, but no. If anything, what the skeleton had said only confused her further. Deciding not to worry much over the subject for a while, she walked into the room, chuckling when the girl smiled: rosy lips tugging into a sheepish, but very genuine smile.

She seemed so open most of the time, so... so sweet. Someone who deserved love and care so much should have never suffered like she had. Toriel had decided the first time she had seen her: no matter what would happen, she would never let anyone hurt the girl again.

"Food looks good." Sans had to chuckle lightly at the heartfelt compliment: Toriel actually blushed. It was the first time the girl said something like that. Most of the time, while all smiles when she was the ruler of her own mind and not the memories that haunted her, she was all smiles and sweetness... But not everyone could see how false those were.

The skeleton knew too well why she had perfected how to _act_ , and the mere thought disgusted him to the _bone_. But he said and did nothing. After all. as long as everyone thought things were alright... they were going to be like that forever, right?

Maybe this time, he was doing the right thing.

Maybe... this time there would not _need_ to be more resets...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, bits and pieces of the story are here now, guys :P may seem a little confusing at first but trust me everything makes sense when you know the entire thing :D (I'm really tired so I may not have explained the duality of 'you' in this chapter well, but I will make it more obvious in the coming ones. I just wanted to write something but had a really tiring couple of days.  
> ANYWAY. this is getting a lot of kudos and quite some comments. Which is great. I... I don't know what counts as a 'lot' here (for me on my old site it was 5000 subs and I only reached it once but seriously, that seems like an impossible goal here for now xD) But I do know that this is..something? I feel so giddy whenever I see someone commented or even just left a kudo. Like a kid OTL.


	5. Papyrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Papyrus finally appears.

Papyrus, for one, had no idea what was going on. His brother had always been the one to disappear for some time without really saying where he went, but once they had been freed from the cage called _underground_ , he had rarely left the small house they shared. He had a job or two - probably even more, but who counted when it came to Sans, really -  but other than those, he preferred to laze around in his room. So obviously, it was odd to the - sadly - younger skeleto that his brother suddenly left and did not go home for a long time.

At first, the _great Papyrus_ believed that maybe, for once, he had been too rough on his brother. Sure, he had asked Sans to put his dirty sock back where it belonged three times, and he also may have glared at his brother a bit too hard when Sans said a stupid pun about bones but...

The skeleton let out a sigh, his usually cheerful expression switched to one of grief. He wasn't even sure if Sans had been home in the past few weeks. He always waited eagerly for his lazy brother, but most nights, nobody came. Papyrus was forced to go to bed alone, without his usual bedtime stories, without someone being there to protect his dreams. It was weird and scary. After all, he was not used to being so lonely. He may not have had a _whole_ lot of friends back in the Underground, but he had always had his brother to rely on. And suddenly, he had nothing. He could call Undyne, yes, but even his good friend was very busy with whatever tasks she had to do. The _human_ had school at daytime, and at night, they had to nap. They couldn't even text back to Papyrus most of the time. It was such a sad time..

Right until on a dark, lonely day Sans appeared in the living room, his usual grin present on his _face_.

"Hey bro," he said, as if he had not been missing for who knows how long. Yes, he had left a message or two on the fridge - it seemed as if he went home when Papryus was sleeping, or out - but that was all. His absence had brought sorrow to his brother's usual cheerful mood. And yet, he acted as if nothing had happened.

"Brother, where have you been?" Papyrus looked up, sadness present in his eyesockets. His soul felt oddly empty yet heavy. It was confusing and somewhat exhausting. Maybe he was too used to relying on his brother. Maybe he was too used to the fact that Sans was always there for him...

"I had some things to do, bro." Sans plopped down on the couch with a sigh, clearly more worn out than he let on."Anyway, I have a new friend who is _dying_ to know you." He chuckled to himself as if he had made another of his silly puns. This time. Papryus just was not in the mood to shake his head and sigh at it. He was just too _puzzled_ to piece two and two together.

"Do they?" he asked finally, tilting his head to the side."Brother, did you spend all of your time with this person?" he questioned, finally getting the idea of what could be going on."Did you go on dates and nightdates and..."

He rambled on and on, enthusiasm nearly swallowing his brother and causing him to brigten up a bit, too. If anything, Sans did get a little flustered, cheekbones dusted blue and the little round lights of his eyesockets set on the ground. He shook his head however, swallowing as if he possessed the need to do so.

"Not quite yet, bro. But this person deserved me to be by them... her, all time. She's better now though and she would probably want some new friends. She's a little lonely and well, I have a few jobs to do, too. I can't keep slacking off, can I? I need to take my breaks off from something." Sans laughed at his own half-hearted joke, but the sound was more strained than happy. Even Papyrus could tell that for once, he was truly exhausted. He looked horrible, too, as if he had not _napped,_ for forever. Or longer.

"Then brother, I would love to get acquinted with this person and talk to them until you are at one of your many jobs!" he said finally, mind wrapped around what was going on perfectly - or so he thought. And well, the great Papyrus was rarely ever wrong.

"That's good to hear, bro. I'm sure that she's gonna be delighted to meet you, too. Plus the _kid_ lives at the place she is at right now. You know with Tori. The king is there a lot, too." Sans let out a sigh of relief. Everything was going according to his plans. There was no way that he would mess up again. He already knew what he had to do and say. It was crazy and yet, he felt as if he was the player of one of the kid's games. He had choices to make, options to choose from. It was crazy and yet, it made him somewhat giddy. Maybe because this time, he was in control. It was not like back under the ground. This time, he could easily go back and make sure that only he could remember his mistakes: he could erase them  just by thinking about how he wished for another chance. He oddly loved this power...

And he was nearly intoxicated by the fact that this time, everything would go his way. He would get what he wanted: the happy ending. At any cost.

"Oh, the human shares a home with your new friend? How delightful!" Papyrus exclaimed in glee, clapping a little. His bones hitting each other made a rattling sound in a somewhat amusing manner.

"Good to know you think so, bro. Good to know.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...  
>  thanks for kudos and comments and all that jazz guys.
> 
>  
> 
> notgonnacommentonhowdrunkiwaswheniwrotethis...
> 
> (very)


	6. Talking together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a sweet friendship is born.

Sans stood in the doorway, his usual wide grin gradually being replaced by a gentle, albeit softer one. He could not help but feel a little giddy at the way _her_ and Papyrus conversed quietly. As expected, they got along incredibly well. Even with her limited vocabulary, the girl could easily talk to the younger skeleton. It was almost as if they had been friends for a long, long time.

Funnily enough, despite the fact that they could not remember one another from before, they acted as if they did. Papyrus rambled on and on about the things he always did, but in a lot slower, quieter manner. He seemed so considerate, so caring.

"Brother, I did not notice you there," Papyrus turned to the door with a small smile, nodding towards him."Have you finished work for today?"

"Yeah, I have." Sans, chuckling at how he had managed to get caught _stalking_ again, made his way to the bed."Hey kid, feeling better?"

The girl puffed out her cheeks at the nickname but nodded a bit, pushing herself up a bit more."Talked a lot with Papy. Had fun." she seemed to stop at every word, clearly concentrating on not messing up what she was trying to see. The effort and the way she pursed her lips was absolutely adorable. Sans somewhat wished that she would stay like this for a long while. It was not that he wanted her to never learn how to speak normally... It was just that he wanted her to stay so.. determined. Her eyes glowed brightly as she licked at her lips again, taking a deep breath."Wanna watch movies... try spaghetti. Never before," she was interrupted by Papyrus's gasp.

"You have never had spaghetti, human?" he asked, voice a little louder than before. The girl nodded shyly, cheeks a soft pink color. She clearly was a little ashamed of the revelation, but it wasn't like she could do anything else other than telling the truth."I will make some for you by tomorrow then, human. I never knew that you had missed out on such culinary delights, you should have told me! I did not have time enough to prepare any for you today, but I promise that this will not happen again!"

"Guess you know what to give her as a present then, bro." Sans said with a chuckle."I guess we should be going though, the kid should rest. Tori said Asgore is taking her, Frisk and the kid," at the pointed look the glare shot him a small glare and the cutest pout that existed on Earth," out in the morning to get some groceries, so she should rest up."

"Go out?" the girl asked with wide eyes, tilting her head to the side. She wasn't sure if she wanted to leave the safe confines of her bed yet, but she knew that she did not have a choice. If she was told to do something, she had to do it no matter how hard or painful it seemed. While she had not been hurt in her new home before, she could never be careful enough. Nothing would ever be able to help her forget the agony, the humiliation that she had been dragged through before. Not even her new... friends? She wanted so badly to just flip a switch - like Toriel did when turning off the light every evening, but not before giving the girl a kiss on her forehead and wishing her sweet dreams - and seal all those memories away. But she could not do it, not when even little things reminded her of her past. She wondered if she would ever get better."Need to?" she asked finally, breaths coming just a little more hurriedly. It was clear that she was getting nervous, especially to Sans.

However, the skeleton new that he could not force Toriel to not take the girl out. He had tried before, and the consequences had not been nice. Some things had to happen in order for things to go smoothly. He hated it, but it wasn't like he had a choice in _everything._ There were certain things that he had no power over. It broke his heart, but he could not change how things were supposed to be.

"I'm sure it will be fun," he said, forced grin returning."And I may have some time off, too, so if all goes well I'll join you guys. Tori just wants to get you some new clothes, too, and she said she wanted you to decide what she should cook this weekend. This is kind of a secret to be honest, but.."

The girl lit up at that however, lips curling into a small but sweet smile. She was a little scared, yes, but she knew that she couldn't keep lying in bed. She had been moving around a little each day by then. It still hurt a little, but it was a lot better than was she was used to. And well, no one knew what would cause someone around her to snap. Everywhere she looked, she saw danger. Sometimes, she was able to turn this _sight_ off, but it was very hard. She just... acted as if she was merely skittish because of everything that she had been through. A quick movement could make her flinch easily, which would cause Toriel and Asgore to worry, but she always shook it off.

"I like clothes." she whispered softly. It was true: she had always admired people dressed in pretty garments. Of course, she was sure that she would not get anything too fancy this time either but... She still hoped somehow.

"Human, I think me and my brother really should be going now," Papyrus said with a small grin."I will drop by tomorrow evening so the two of us can enjoy my marvelous pasta creation." he moved to hug her lightly: even now he was incredibly careful around her. Sans slowly stepped closer, too, bending down to nuzzle her soft hair.

"Take care, kid." he said softly."Shopping will be fun, don't worry."

God, how he hated being a liar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys :D I tried to make this chapter somewhat sweet, hope it worked haha. Thank you all for the kudos and comments and all x3


	7. First of many

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which shopping turns into a nightmare.

It was chilly outside, a light breeze ruffled the hair of the small girl who trailed after Toriel slowly, steps tentative and eyes set on the cool concrete. She was scared, but she struggled her hardest to not show it. After all,. expressing fear was the same as expressing weakness: it was intolerable, vile. She shuddered at the thought of being yelled at again for acting out of line, for doing something she was not supposed to do. How she wished to push away those dark thoughts: they seemed like they were plaguing her mind more and more every since she had been awaken by Toriel in the morning. Every little thing fuelled a fire in her mind, one she detested badly. The voices that she had heard many times before -  even though right now she was sure they could not be true as no one from her past was around her - were calling her out on just how useless, ugly, stupid, bad she was. How she did not deserve the affection, the new clothes... the food.

"My dear, are you alright?"Toriel's sweet voice shook the petite girl out of her thoughts. She nodded quickly, cheeks flushed a soft shade of pink.

"I am.." her voice was quite weak but the smile she mustered was almost genuine-looking. She was used to acting as if nothing was going on... If only people had known before."Shopping sounds nice."

"Of course it does, child!" Toriel went to gently ruffle her hair with her free paw. With the other, she was holding onto Frisk's little hand. The child had not met the girl a lot before, but they were sure that it would change eventually. They liked how pure - for a human - their guest was. It was hard to find anyone like her. Yes, she had a past, but who didn't?

Everything went swimmingly: they passed neighbours - of the monster kin as the area they lived in was filled mostly with them. Some humans lived around too, but it seemed like they were not out at the very moment. It was a little odd, but not necessarily a good or bad thing.- waved, introduced their new guest who seemed to smile more and more. It was clear that she enjoyed meeting the new faces. Her eyes would lit up like a child's and she would even clap sometimes. For once, her guard was down fully and it was beyond adorable. Asgore trailed after the three, eyes always on the young girl like a protective father's: were she to trip, he would be there to catch her. He always got attached to people very easily, but he could not blame himself this time. This young lady resembled someone he had known many, many years ago..

With a sigh smile, the girl looked up at Toriel. She felt at ease around the goat monster: it was now obvious that she meant no harm. If anything, she just wanted to help. Her gentle, motherly presence did just that. It was so easy to like her. As they reached the shopping mall that was filled to the brim with busy life, the young girl finally relaxed fully. Everything was alright, no one was going to hurt her.

They stepped into the enormous building through the glass doors and she looked away in infantile awe, lips curling into the brightest smile. She was just about to rush over to the large Christmas tree that stood in the middle when her eyes fell on something..someone. A human woman stood in front of it, typing busily into her phone. She looked to be minding her own business, but something was off about her.. She was familiar...and she seemed like a threat.

Everything sped up suddenly: Asgore saw the small girl stumble a bit, and then, she started trembling. Her lithe form was quickly turned into a trembling mass of skin and bones and her eyes were unfocused: she spiralled into a state of utter panic within moments. Toriel just stood there, gasp escaping her as she watched her ex-husband try to snap the tiny girl out of her attack, all his attempts futile so far.

And suddenly, Sans was there, left eye blazing blue. He, too, was panting, his hands a little shaky as he all but pushed Asgore away, taking the small human into his arms."I'm here," he crooned, his face losing its usual wide grin. He looked worried mad, his eyes filled with genuine concern and something else. Strangely, he acted as if he had done this before, and not once. He rocked, the gasping girl lightly in his arms, rubbing her back, nuzzling her neck. He acted as if he was calming a child, voice low and calming.

"She's terrified of humans, or so it seems." he muttered, glancing up at the woman that was staring at them. She seemed a little out of it, too. Of course...

Sans sighed a bit, shaking his head. This time, things were going to be different. He would not let anything get to the small girl he was still holding onto so tight. After all, he had a great advantage this time: he knew what to prepare for all too well.

"We should go." he decided."Let's just ask someone to get her clothes."

The goat-like monsters and a worried Frisk followed him without a word. They were all quite confused, but they dared not to say anything. After all, whatever Sans was doing seemed to work. The small girl had calmed down and slipped into an uneasy sleep, her tiny fingers grasping onto the skeleton's hoodie tight. It was clear that not even in dreamland did she have the intention of letting go.

"Just what have we got ourselves into..." Toriel whispered weakly to herself as she walked, her expression puzzled and so, so sad. She got no answer, just a squeeze on the shoulder by her ex-husband.

How could such a bright day turn so sorrowful?

Only Sans knew the answer...

And it was not pretty.


	8. Whirlwind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which many things happen.

For the next week, the girl refused to talk to anyone. She just sat in her bed, half-lidded eyes staring ahead, unfocused. She barely even twitched at any noise: it was almost as if she was completely unaware of her surroundings. Deep in thought, she did not move a muscle for long hours.

Toriel was getting worried. Her heart stung for the poor child, and she could not help but beat herself up on the insides for insisting on a shopping trip. There had been so many others things they could have done together that would not have required them to set a foot out of their cosy home. But no, she had thought going out would do good for all of them. The goat-like monster, much like the poor soul she was so concerned for, would sometimes just stare into space as she sat in her large rocking chair, ignoring the world completely. She just had so much on her mind. Not only guilt, but a sick mixture of curiosity and confusion was brewing in the depths of her soul, too. Sans had appeared just at the right moment... how? He seemed to know an awful lot about the poor girl, yes, but to have the right timing too... it was a little suspicious, to say the least. Toriel was just worried that there was something the skeleton was keeping from her, from everyone else. There was a chance that the information was vital.

And yet, she was never courages enough to ask him. After all, to most, she was just a little old lady-monster taking care of a human child. She had long lost her glorious ways of when she had been a queen. Only in Asgore's eyes was she still one. It was nice being normal for once, yes, but at times, she wished that she was the same as she used to be. Something told her that whatever Sans knew was the key to know the girl and to help her...

Frisk trotted up to their mother with a pout on their lips, quickly climbing on her lap. Nuzzling into her neck, the child managed to tear Toriel out of her dark thoughts. This always worked: children had always had a calming effect on monsters. That's why they were treasured so much by some..

Just as she was about to ask if her little one wanted anything, Sans walked into the living room. Frisk tilted their head to the side in the most adorable way: it was obvious that the child had not even know that the skeleton had been there again.

"Make her pancakes with a lot of syrup and a bit of whipped cream on top." he said, voice low and soft but words close to a command. His usual grin was in place, but he looked worn, as if he had not rested in long years. Which was odd, because more than once or twice, Toriel had caught him snoring near the girl, holding her hand like a lifeline. Just the sweet gesture had been an obvious sign of how important the poor little one was to the skeleton.

"I will. Do you think it is going to help?" Toriel questioned as Frisk pumped their little fists in the air, clearly gleeful about the pancakes that would be made soon. The child, like most others, absolutely adored sweets. They could have lived off pie and candy if their _mother_ had allowed them to. Of course, the ex-queen was a little smarter than that... (then again, Asgore oftentimes snuck in some candy for _his favorite child_ , ruffling their hand and telling them not to tell anything). Toriel knew of this little habit but never really mentioned it. Only, whenever it was clear that it had happened, she did not make any dessert for dinner. She wondered when Asgore and Frisk would realize that she knew all of their silly little secrets. She was a mother after all.

"It should." Sans gave a somewhat exhausted sigh, clearly ready to just fall in bed and sleep for days."Look, she... she has been through a lot and there are little that we can do to help her. But she will love the pancakes, trust me. Just don't put any strawberry jam on it, not sure if that would go well with... everything."

Frisk nodded along with their mother as if they would be the one making the pancakes, a little grin on their face. Seeing that, Sans sniggered a bit and ruffled the child's hair."You will remember, too, right, kiddo?" Frisk nodded, grinning a little wider before yawning a bit. It was getting late.

Suddenly, the soft pitter-patters of dainty feet could be heard. Even Sans looked up in shock as the tiny girl rushed out of the room she had been in for quite long, tears running down her cheeks.

"B..bad dreams...n..no one there.." she choked out weakly, only to collapse into the skeleton's waiting arms. He rubbed her back gently, rocking her back and forth again, like that day in the mall. Yes, he was a little startled - this had never happened before and frankly it was a little scary for until then, everything had always been the same - but he knew that all he could do was comfort her. After all, he knew how nightmares could wreck someone silently without any others noticing it.

"I'll just go and make pancakes.." Toriel whispered and nearly ran off, followed by a wide-eyes Frisk. Sans let out a thankful sigh, leading the girl to the rocking chair with a small chuckle.

"Ever seen something like this, kiddo?" he asked gently, patting her back. As expected, his response was a shake of head and a curious look in reddened eyes.

"It's great for relaxing," Sans chuckled and lightly patted her bum. She was so easily distracted, even from the scariest of nightmares. It was quite adorable, the skeleton had to admit to himself as he sat down and tugged her on his lap."Plus this way none of us will get _bonely_." he nudged his head towards the set of wooden chairs that stood not so far from them. They were great for sitting, but not big enough to fit them both of them like this. Or at least, he guessed so. He was sure they would have collapsed under their joined weight. (he could swear he heard one creaking under Asgore a few weeks back)."So, kid, feeling better?"

"Yes." the reply was court but a weak smile came with it. It was a little shaky, too, but as genuine as it could be."C..can't... lie in room. forever."the girl added, biting down on her lower lip enough to draw just a droplet of blood. Sans flinched inwardly, staring at her as she made a face, licking it away clumsily. This had always been a silly habit of hers.

"H..H..humans. Scary." the girl spoke up a few minutes later again, voice trembling and hoarse."A..always cause pain. M..me. S..sisters... b..brothers..."

"I know doll, I know." Sans cooed into her ear. Of course he did: she had told him countless times before. Every time, the words dug into his soul with more and more power. It literally hurt him to know what she had been through...and to know that with any little mistake, he could be forced to stir the wheel of life backwards. Again. So he could try again and again, selfishly. He often thought it would have been better to let her die, to allow her soul to rest but.. he needed her too much already. Even now, holding her tight, he felt like she could slip out of his grasp any moment and he did not want that. Sans had never been possessive of anything before he had met her, nor have he showed much emotions to others  (maybe to his brother and Frisk he did, but that was all). And then she came along for the first time, and he could literally feel his soul melt. She was beautiful, even if she was all scarred and panicky, inside and out. She was perfect in his eyes. If only he had a sure way of keeping her forever. Yes, he was confident this time, he had a feeling that finally, he would do everything the way he had to.. but something dark swirled in his mind often, telling him that no matter what he did, she would perish. That she was not a soul he could save, that he had to move on, forget her, maybe ignore her existense... But he never paid attention to that voice.

He just.. listened to it.

"S..sans." she called him by his name for the first time, if he recalled well. He had heard it before many times, of course, but not in the near past. It made him swallow hard: her voice was still as soft as ever whenever she referred to him. Maybe some things did not chance, not even as time resetted again and again."I.. I want.. I want.. know. How..monsters. I..  never heard of... then you here.." He patted her back lightly as she seemed to struggle with talking again, voice cracking and eyes on the ground. It was hard to listen to her like this. He had gotten so close to a happy ending the last time, he had been used to hearing her talk clearly and giggle and laugh and just express her glee..instead of fear and confusion.

"Well, we have been trapped underground for a while," the question had not been new, but her reaction was. Eyes wide, she suddenly started shaking her head, tears gathering in her eyes. It was clear that she did not want to hear the rest of the story for some time. But why?"Hon, are you alright?" the skeleton eyes, worry brewing in his chest.

"T..trapped..like me." she uttered the words, barely louder than whispers. She clung to him like a child, sniffing."N..never thought..g..get out. M..me?"

Even Sans wasn't sure what she meant by that, but he kept rubbing her back gently before pressing a toothy kiss to her cheek."We were like that, too, kiddo. But Frisk came and freed us. No one knows how or why, but they did. And we are all happy now, living here where we belong. Like you. Maybe you went through a lot of things before you ended up with us but know, know one would hurt you. All you need to do is live with us happily."

"Y..you don't..live here." she was a little more coherent again, turning her gaze away again. She seemed almost embarrassed, which was incredibly cute in Sans's view. He was already used to her being the most precious little thing he had after she learnt to open up, and because of that, he missed it badly. Sure, she was not supposed to be acting like this yet, but for a moment he just did not want to care. He just wanted to grasp the fact that she was back to her real self, the one he adored so much.

"No I don't, we live just around here with Papyrus though. You remember my brother, right?"

She nodded almost eagerly at that, eyes lightning up. Sans chuckled. At first, he had been jealous of the way she had acted around his brother, but soon he had come to realize that their friendship would never be more than just that. Friendship. At one time, she would end up befriending many others and well, the skeleton couldn't exactly be envious of the entire world (well, he could, and he may or may not have done it at one point, but it was not worth it for sure. He had learnt it the hard way). Shaking the thought off, he ruffled her hair with a smirk when she let out a little sound that resembled a squeal.

"Pancake's ready~" Toriel called from the kitchen and Sans grinned, standing her up with her still in his arms. He could not help grinning when she just snuggled closer to him, nose buried in the fur of his hoodie. He could recall clearly the first time she had done it. That moment, he had made a mental note to always wear something like that...

Pancake-time, as expected, went expectionally well. Sans ended up feeding the small girl who just giggled quietly as if she had not been locked up in her mind the past week. If anything, she was a lot more open now, which caused Sans to be happy and Toriel to worry a little. As a mother, she could just feel it when something was a little off, even when it was not with her chldren. And well, she already treated her _guest_ as one of her own. It was hard not to turn fully _mother-hen_ (or as Frisk sometimes cheekily called her, _goat-mom_ ) around her. It was clear that she needed all the care and attention.

Now, however, she just could not put a claw on what was off. All she knew that things were..different, from what they had been before.

"S..sans, food." the skeleton was torn out of his thoughts when a forkful of pancake was pressed against his teeth. Gleeming eyes stared at him and his cheeks flushed a deep hue of blue. Now this was unexpected.

"I..t..thanks, hon?" he muttered as he chewed on the small piece. He was not the biggest fan of sweets - unlike her who he knew could eat a bottle of nutella and still plead for more with puppy eyes - but this time, he did not care. The look on her face gave him enough strength to actually grin and ask for more.

Just as she was about to put another piece on her little fork, Asgore's rumbling voice broke the calming atmosphere.

"Everyone, I have a surprise!" The ex-king trampled into the kitchen like he already lived there, grinning so widely it was nearly absurd. He was holding an armful of bags that seemed to be from different clothes stores, each more expensive than the other. Just reading the brand names made Sans's head hurt."Since our little trip sort of failed, I decided to... suit myself and get clothes..." he seemed a little nervous then. almost as if he was wondering if his idea had been a bad thing. After all, he knew little about clothing. He had guessed Frisk's style by ease, and Toriel's, too, but he knew little about their guest.

"Well, thank you, Asgore," Toriel smiled at him gently, taking some of the bags before giving him a shy kiss on the cheek. Frisk clapped as the monster who used to be the _frightening_ king blushed madly. What a cute sight."Children, I suppose it is time for us to turn on our new clothes. Sans, you can stay if you would like to..."

The skeleton just grinned as he nodded a bit. New clothes were always fun.

For multiple reasons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys :) This chapter is a bit longer than usual, but I never found the perfect point to stop at so yea :) I may not update for a few days however (exams, bleh. not that important but still) so... yea x3  
> hope you all like it :)  
> (feel free to leave a comment or just do whatever is done on this site. I'm still a noob :P)


	9. His ragdoll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sans prepares to celebrate.

As almost every night, Sans watched over her pale form, unable to fall into a deep, peaceful sleep like hers. Down in his soul he knew that there was no way anything could happen to her, that he need not be there, that he could screw up again if he did something he should not have but... he didn't care, not anymore. Sometimes he wondered if the affection he felt towards the human (admittedly the one who had stolen his heart so many times before) was healthy or not. They were both adults on the outside - albeit her stick-thin figure and lack of height and curves barely showed that - but her soul was like a troubled child's.

The skeleton knew why, and he also knew that things would change soon, that she would be _better_ and _better_ and that soon, she would love him, too. And yet, guilt liked to creep into his skull and nibble on his sanity. The love he felt, it was almost _sick_. It was unconditional and in a way, pure, yes, and he would have done anything for her but...

He could not think further because a soft whine of his name shook him out of his thoughts. She was half-awake, eyes open but clouded, tears glistening on her flushed cheeks.

"Sans..." she mumbled quietly. This time, her voice sounded different. It was not soft and weak and shaky, it was... like it used to be the last time Sans had screwed up. Sleepy and sweet and filled with a hazy swirl of love that always melted the skeleton's non-existent heart."Sans, why are we back here?" she yawned and rubbed at her eyes, tilting her head to the side. Frowning a bit when she got no answer, she pursed her lips."Sans?"

The skeleton just stared at her, eyesockets void of their little lights. He had no idea what to do or say: this had never happened before. She seemed to remember him. But how? Would it be permanent? Or was Sans just dreaming again? After all, he had many times fantasized about such things. Being able to tell her how much he had missed her, how much he loved her... everything. But now, he was incapable of uttering a single world. Almost as if his sounds and syllables had been stolen right from his mouth. The sensation was frightening and intriguing. Somehow, he enjoyed the novelty of it.

But just as he was about to finally mumble something, maybe a pun or a confession, he felt something hit his head. Hard.

And then, he woke up to Frisk grinning down at him widely.

When Sans looked at them quizzically, the child just shrugged and ran out of the room, giggling madly about something. The skeleton sat there for a while, mind still a little hazy: the dream he had left quite an effect on him. At the very first moments, he had even assumed it was still night, but judged by how the sunlight was streaming into the room, he knew the supposition was false. Checking his phone he even realized that it was quite late, way past noon. He had to go, unfortunately. As always, his soul broke a little at the knowledge that he had to leave. He wanted to be by her side forever, even if it meant something disastrous for him. And yet..

He shook his head again, dark thoughts threatening to taint his day. No, he was not going to allow that. He had things to do and then, at night... someone to go back to.

With a sigh, the skeleton stood up as well, glancing once more and the small girl sprawled out on the bed. She still looked so frail, like a chid, even if she was far from it. After all, she was turning twenty soon. It was odd how many times Sans had celebrated the day of her birth all alone: he could recall never mentioning it to anyone before she would. It was hilarious, in a way. On that day, he would order a small cake and sing under the covers of the bed they would once share, feeling almost as she was there already, listening for him. He would pretend that everything was alright that she was not a torn ragdoll waiting to be sewn back together again and again. He knew that only he held the thread and needle that could fix her, but he was also aware of how frail they were, too. One wrong move and he could lose them...or break them, along with her soul.

That day, Sans ordered the cake: her favorite of course. He grinned to himself and wondered how she would react if he gave it to her now. Would she giggle like a child or would she grin? Would she be surprised or scared? He wanted so badly to see her reactions... He missed her so bad even when she was there with him almost all the time.

From the outside, he must have seemed like a fool. One that chased a dream that would always slip from his hands. At times, he wondered if there was anyone who knew of what was going on, other than him. If someone was laughing at how pathetic, stupid he was...

Then again, he did not care. As long as he had the chance to have her forever, he paid no attention to what others thought. After all, once she had her, all to himself, he would be the one laughing, the one happy...

Little did he know...

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going back to short chapters because in big doses this is incredibly depressing (and upsettling haha). Okay, so I have to say, I'm impressed by how some of you seemed to notice that something was off. I am usually a lot less subtle than this and well..people pay no attention to the clues :) Anyway, I have to clarify: Sans is no pedo (by the way, this chapter was not written to clarify that, the girlie was supposed to have her birthday coming up anaway). Sans is scary to be honest. Even to me and I write him. It's like... you guys don't even know a lot of things about him so I can't exactly ramble but.. he is definitely my eeriest character so far (I also added some tags because tbh he wasn't supposed to be like this at first..really). So..yea :)   
> Anyway, I kind of made a thing...for this? I used screencaps of a music video for it, but this is sort of how I picture the reader :) I have to say it's not exactly good (want to do touchups + change the title but the PSD is missing, my heart is breaking..I made this for a contest first but then I realized how with changing the title it could fit this so well :)) Yeah just..wanted to show off. I am sort of a designer (one that can only edit and can't draw) and..yea. I'm not the one to get fanarts either so sometimes I take some time off and just make stuff for myself. Pretty pathetic but at least I practice. *shuffles away before tossing you the link) http://i.imgur.com/D50HNGJ.png  
> umm..I'll go and study now because I sorta should be doing it all day and yea..byee guys.


	10. Determination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter because my power is running out :D I decided to just let the length be inconsistent, feels more real that way. I can't force myself to write the same amount every time :D Anyway, umm... so things are happening without any actual action. Guess Sans IS yandere or whatever :P (still, I refer to him as an obsessed sicko but oh well). Um... if you wish, feel free to comment anything :P spot mistakes? feel free to tell me and all that. I try to communicate with readers but I'm a little awkward so yea.  
> well, hope you guys are enjoying this :P)

Sans lay in bed one lonely night, staring up at the ceiling. A small plate holding a tiny strawberry cake was next to him, single candle already blown. He had sung until his voice had become raspy and weak - oddly enough, not only humans could wear themselves down like that, but monsters, too - and tears had stained his hoodie. He knew that soon, he would have her in his arms, that all would be okay for a while, but he hated how it just could not come sooner. After the first few times he had lost her, the short skeleton had gotten used to the routine of things. Asgore finding her broken, helping her heal, hoping for things to go well...losing her... Resetting it all because he could, because he held the power, he had the _determination_ for it. It was never easy, it drained him for long months, but until now, he had always managed to do it. Somehow.

Maybe it was just how madly in love he was with her, or maybe it was his stubbornness. Surely, it could not be foolishness or something else, something a little more sinister. After all, Sans was not obsessed... or at least that's what he liked to tell himself. No, he had merely fallen for her the very first time he had seen her. It had been long ago and yet he could remember so well. Seeing her when he went to visit the little family of three on a stormy night Papyrus was out with Undyne. The weather was something that always changed oddly enough. Once, it had been so hot he was _sweating_ but usually, it was quite cold.

The extents of her injuries had differed from time to time, but it was rare to find her in a good condition. If her body was not wrecked, her mind was...

After that however, everything was the same. The way she acted, the words that left her lips, everything that happened. The incident in the mall, her fear... almost _phobia_ of humans (Frisk not included for an odd reason). This time, it had been a little different, but maybe it was a good time.

Sans had somehow perfected a way to _get under her skin_. He chuckled to himself as he sighed, rolling to his side for a while. He oftentimes felt like the player of a game, a sick one that only he knew how to control. The characters, all of them but him, were unable to do anything. Everything was in his hands: their lives, their joy, sadness.

Sans could finally understand the kid experimenting with killing some monsters way, way back in time. When one had the ability to go back and redo everything, they got a little curious. Surely, he had not done too many bad things on purpose, but he oftentimes had toyed with the idea. After all, he always had a second chance...or if that did not work, he had a third.

Then again, he got tired quickly after some time. He just wanted the loop to end: to have her in his hold and never let go. He so badly missed her kiss, the way she talked, the way she acted... Just everything that made her the woman he had fallen for. The fact that this time maybe everything would turn out alright filled him with a new sense of determination.

Little did he know that time was running out without him even noticing.

After all, _nothing_ lasts forever.

Not even determination.


	11. A year into life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a year passes and many things change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As said in the summary, an entire year passed :P I do wonder why, ya know...  
> Anyway, gonna say it here because it may even catch someone's attention, if you think it's worth it, please throw a cup of coffee at me (lol at that description LOL)  
> http://ko-fi.co/2376KANY9YX3F  
> I'd appreciate any help (buuut comments and love is more than enough, too. Just.. LV can't buy me coffee :PPPPP jkjk)  
> By the way, sorry for the lateass update, I thought I updated like..less than a week ago. I'm so embarrassed T.T already losing track. Whatever, have fun reading now <3 reader is sorta normal now. sorta  
> notreally

Sans could not believe how fast time could fly. More than a year had passed since _she_ had been found. Life was back in her vivid eyes and she was growing more and more into the person she truly was. Day by day, she seemed to understand more about how the world truly worked. As expected, she still did not leave her home much, given her deep fear of humans, but she was happy to mingle with monsters whenever she was given the chance. Maybe because of that, she was getting more and more bold, too, her grins reaching her eyes, behaviour just a little less controlled.

Just now, she strolled into the kitchen with a very un-ladylike yawn, rubbing at her eyes sleepily. She stood straight and a little plumper than before, looking healthy as one could be. Her once scrawny form had filled out well. She was still extremely short, but her face looked older and so did some parts of her body. She may not have had the height of a person over twenty, but she surely did everyting else. Of course, at times she reverted back to her previous state but...those episodes were getting rarer. It was good and both her and Sans knew that.

"I had the weirdest dream," she muttered and sat down on one of the chairs, leaning her head on the table. Her messy bed-hair sprawled out on the cold wood and one of her arms dangled down.

Sans sniggered and patted her head. He already knew of her dream, and yet, he asked as if he was curious, knowing how much it meant her. At times, he was tired of listening to the same things over and over, but she was definitely worth it. Her love, too. Every bit of her mattered more than a little boredom or lack of amusement. After all, she was his to love, to hold, to treasure...

"Did you?" the skeleton ended up asking. He knew that Toriel would appear just when the story would start, and he could already see the wonder in her eyes as soft words described a boring, but vivid dream of... running down the street.

"Yeah. Someone was trying to hit you," had he possessed blood, it would have frozen in Sans's veins. No, they were not at _that_ part of the story. She was supposed to say something else. Surely, things had been a little different this time round, but... no major changes have happened. However, _that_ dream, the one she would have on their first night together, held great meaning. She was supposed to have that pressed into her mind then, not now, when they were just friends and nothing else.

It was hard not to panic. Sure, it was not something crucial like her dying on the spot for some weird reason, but Sans had not been prepared for such a thing. He knew what to tell her, but his mind was filled with soft words of awe at her description of the world outside, not... not explanations to why even he could be harmed. It was as if they were hidden in a little chest in his mind and he did not possess the key. Or maybe, it had a timer on it, one that said that it could only open at the right time...

"Sans, are you, okay?"she asked."Did my dream really shock you that bad? I mean it was just me running up and down, up and down, nothing complicated."

The skeleton just stared and she frowned, poking his forehead with a dainty finger. He was being odd and not in the usually pleasant way. His reactions had been sluggish and from time to time in the past month or so, he freaked out over nothing. Had she been a little more used to being free, she would have known what was regarded as normal, and what was not. But she was a wreck.

Sure, she know knew how to speak, and she had even learnt how to pretend that all was okay. For her new... family's sake. But she was far from being alright. Shadows hid in the depths of her brain, threatening to snap and engulf her whole. A mask of well-being was easy to craft, but it would never heal the cracks on the soul it covered.

She knew that she needed help. She flinched whenever a human raised their voice even in the television and she whimpered when they had a visitor of her kind, even if she was hiding in the room that ended up being hers permanently. Childishly, at first, she had even hid under her bed but... she knew only monsters lurked there. Then again, monsters had never harmed her.

At times, it was not easy to put on a smile. After all, while a long time had passed since she had been taken in by Toriel - and Asgore who more or less lived there already, completing the family with the image of the 'strict and rough' father (he was doing a bad job at being strict, really), she was still unable to forget about what she had escaped from.

Her first memory was the worst. She had been a mere child, maybe four... or six.. at that time? She was petite for her age and clumsy, too, always tripping on the bottom of the loose pants she loved so much. She was messy, too: after all, she adored ice-cream more than anything. She could remember her favorite treat clearly, albeit many foods had been forgotten by her cloudy mind. One day, she was being handed her cold treat by the nice vendor when it started raining.

She started running towards where she thought her parents to be but...

Nobody was there.

"Hon, you look awfully deep in thoughts," funnily enough, Sans said that as if he had not acted out of it just a few minutes ago. Still, the girl shook her head and let out a sigh, head aching from remembering so much. She hated reaching into her memories, even if it happened by instinct. It hurt, almost as if it was something that was not supposed to happen.

Little did she know just how right she was..


	12. Hot water.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning for barely there mentions of rape and abuse

Sans was weird.

She liked him a lot, yes, but that took little away from the odd way he behaved. Each of his moves were strictly calculated, as if he had some kind of schedule to follow, as stupid as that sounded. Oftentimes she felt herself being sucked into whatever game he was playing: when they spent more than a few hours together, they worked like clockwork. Sit for five minutes, fidget for half, sigh and look ahead, check what was on the TV, go back to just staring ahead...repeat. She was starting to suspect that maybe something was wrong with the skeleton, too.

After all, wounded minds had the tendency to find each other. Maybe that was why the two of them got along so well: they were both hurting on the inside, in their very souls, but no one noticed it.

She sometimes wondered if something was wrong with her. Why couldn't she just calm down? She had a family now, and others who just..cared for her. And yet, even when everything was alright, darkness haunted her in her most fragile moments. She still felt like a prey to men, she still felt like a plaything. When she lay in the bathtub for hours, she did not play with the bubbles as Frisk and Toriel would have suspected: she scrubbed and scrubbed her skin, whimpering as redness would overtake pale areas. She wore long pajamas each night, trying to hide what she could. After all, she did not want to worry anyone. Everyone had faults, right? It wasn't like she was the only one who kept thinking that she would be dragged back to hell any moment, right?

She let out a shuddering breath, once more allowing the still hot water to envelope her tiny body. She flinched a little at the temperature: she would have preferred something a little cooler, but she oddly enough the scalding hot mess made it easier to remove the blood she still felt on her skin, the stickiness between her thighs...

A gasp escaped bruised lips as she tried to focus on what was around her, not on what had happened. She was clean, the water was warm, the scent of vanilla lingered in the large bathroom. Her eyes well on the mirron that was on the opposite side of the wall. At first, hazed eyes landed on the design of the frame: it was a pearly color with vines tangling into one another, roses blooming ocassionally. She allowed herself to finally catch sight of her reflection: reddened skin, tear-stained cheeks, haunted eyes.

She felt the need to wash it all away, but nothing worked. Why? Why couldn't she just get rid of her past? Why couldn't she forget? Why couldn't she relax, why couldn't she allow herself to believe that everything that was going on was not just a stupid dream?

A frustrated sigh escaped her and she sank further into the water, squeezing her eyes shut as it submerged her face, too: only  the tip her nose stuck out a little bit. Lying like this was comforting: if only she could stay like this for longer periods of time. The hot water cradling her body felt soothing, nice. Like rocked to sleep by the mother she could still remember. Toriel was so much like her, but... so different, too. Almost the same and yet....

Her thoughts drifted to Sans once more. Panic still lingered in the air but she struggled to distract herself, thinking of everything but the past. Sans was a good subject: he was so... so puzzling, so strange. "Heh, he really is like a clock." she thought.

She wondered if she would ever see his demons, if they were like hers: forever haunting him. He had obviously been through a lot...

She sat up slowly, skin red and pruny from being in the water so long. She felt refreshed and yet, exhausted as well. She felt like she could collapse on her bed and hug her pillow and just sleep, sleep dreamlessly for ten years.

But faith had other plans. As she took a step to get out, a shriek slipped through her lips: pain shot up her spine. With that came a vision, just a flash of a face she knew so well in front of eyes falling shut from the sudden sensation: Sans was grinning at her, looking older? Could a skeleton even look old? He seemed nervous still, droplets of blue sweat covering his face. And he was holding a ring?

Heaving, she manouvered her shaking legs to land on the cold floor before she slipped and fell. She was close to vomiting, bile rising to the back of her throat. What was going on? Why did she feel so weak all of a sudden? She gasped for air as more and more pictures rose in her mind: she was incapable of forcing her eyes to open. She slid down to an odd, sprawled out sitting position as she waited for whatever was going on to end. it was... Maddening.

She saw herself with Sans, with Papyrus, with everyone else. It was.. like she was normal. But she knew she was not and maybe that hurt more than the physical pain she felt.

Suddenly, the door was torn open and the very skeleton she had been seeing most in her mind ran inside, yelling something louder than she thought he could. But through her weird state, she had no idea what he was saying...yelling. She felt disconnected form him, wrapped in her own mind. Her own dreams. Nightmares...

Memories?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. Next chapter there will be actual progress xD so happy this is done, writing it was...intense to say the least :D Hope it was okay tho xD


	13. It's getting close

Sans was freaking out. It was not necessarily because of what was happening: he supposed that he was already used to his poor little sweetheart getting _attacks_ like that all of a sudden. It was merely because for a second, he could see wretched recognition flash in those tortured, hazy orbs he loved so much. It wasn't supposed to happen.. not now, not ever..

Or...was it?

For a moment, he had no idea. Memories of past, present and future were easily melding into one in his troubled mind. But he could never lose his grip on the current reality. He knew that. He had to focus...focus. On her. She was trembling, mouth agape, eyes wide. She looked shocked, terrified even. As if she had seen something she was not supposed to see. Why he knew that was the case, Sans had no idea. After all, it could have been anything from the dark images of her past to a mere nightmare. She had such a busy imagination, really. Dozing off could put the strangest visions in her silly little head.

And yet, he knew.

He tried to calm the both of them down at the same time: his hands were shaking like hers, phalanges rattling together like infants' toys. He took a deep breath once more to steady himself before gently lifting her up, bringing her close to his chest."Hon, I'm here.. baby..kid.." he rambled off various nicknames he had called her by before, chuckling at his own creativity. He could recall, at one time they had gotten really, really far together, even trying out a few names in French, or Italian. She had just giggled them off at that time, soft red grazing her cheeks. Oh, how beautiful she could be when she was alright. When everything went according to plan...

Unlike now. Nothing was going well and Sans knew it. He wanted so badly to just forget about it all, to ignore the fact that he had a schedule, a plan, a _timetable_. That nothing was random in this world, that everything that happened, he had seen before. But... he could not do it, not when she was there, still quite broken, still so tired-looking, still not the person he had fallen for the first time.

Forgetting _her_ was the hardest, really. Sans could ignore every other detail - he had done that, once upon a time - but he could not push his thoughts of what she really was like back. It was almost as if the pathetic shell of a shattered human was constantly mocking him.

Deep down, a small part of him hated her as much as the majority of him adored her. It was a paradox, but what was not in this messed-up life?

Oddly enough, she was the one to go lax first, her tiny body easily pressing against his wide chest. With a soft sigh, she allowed her eyes to fall shut and wrapped her thin arms around his neck, clutching the back of his hoodie with an oddly content sigh."I had a weird, weird dream. But I was awake," the way she spoke was calming and sweet, a gentle hum to the skeleton who was still panicking on the inside. He just concentrated on her soft voice, barely understanding what she was talking about. He needed her presence more than anything at the moment.

Something deep in his mind buzzed into life. A feeling of regret and loathe, swirling around, thick flames burning with a twisted passion."I can't even help her," he thought, flinching inwardly. He wanted so badly to push the guilt away, to focus on how she was there, but he could not. Without realizing, Sans had already fallen: he was a mere prey to demons he was only noticing now. He knew that he had to be strong for her, but how long would it be until he would crumble fully? He had no idea.

The next hour or so, the two of them spent in complete silence. It was awkward: through their stupor, they had completely forgotten about how... lacking in clothing she had been. Completely, really. It wasn't like Sans had not seen her like that before though. It barely fazed him, really. But her, the poor little innocent thing she had been, yelped and blushed madly once she was better, as if she had done the crime of the century.

~~Little did she know that it was not her that had committed such a thing.~~

She felt a little weird, even as she curled up by Sans's side on the couch, eyes on the television. The nausea from before had slipped away as she had spotted Sans, and just how... broken he was, how he had needed her, but now, it was slowly seeping back into her system. She had pushed away her weakness before - her mind had forced her to do so - but now, now that it was alright, she was starting to feel..off. Images of a future or past? Maybe just a dream flashed before her eyes again. She felt almost as if she was still staring at the screen of the television, but now she was seeing her own life. It was unfolding in front of her very own eyes. She could see Sans grin at her like she held the world, then with some anger. What had she done to make him look like that? She could see an older Frisk prance around her, throwing flowers? And then the - then teen - was glaring at someone, but not her, with so much hatred it made her shiver. It was all a mixture of good and bad, evil and nice again and again and again and she felt so, so dizzy. What was going on again? Why was it coming back? Why was... why were those pictures in her mind so suddenly?

By the time Sans finally realized that something was wrong, she was shaking like a leaf, heaving for air as if she could not breath. An odd voice was yelling at her mind, loud and clear like nothing before.

_~~You are not supposed to be here. Not. Here. Never. Ever. You should die... Like you did. Again and again and again.~~ _

And then, all she heard was laughter. Cruel, dark. Disgusting. Filled with hatred.

Why was it so, so familiar?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And shit hit the fan. Otl. ANYWAY, I hope the chapter was okay haha. It's really late here T.T I'm kind of proud of it, managed to put some emotions into it lol.   
> Trivia: I think it's pretty obvious now but I sort of well..hate Sans? I mean the Sans in the story lol. I just don't agree with what he was doing, tho he had a loooooot of reasons. I feel bad for him yea but... eh. I'm a weirdo. Please, do comment and whatever you guys do here, I really wanna see what people think of this piece of..idk. written poop lol. Will try to reply to past comments now (I have trouble because... SPOILERS). So the ones I didn't reply to are mainly because..yea. I'm scared of spoiling the story. Sorry guys lol. I ramble too much about my plots otl. Uh. I'll go now and..shower. and maybe sleep. uh. bye.


	14. Chapter 14

Sans could only watch as she writhed on the couch, almost as if she was possessed by an evil spirit. A scream that seemed alien from her left pale lips and small hands found their haven in her hair before she started tugging madly, face contorting.

For some reason, the skeleton could not move. Was he frozen by fear or something else he did not know: all that registered in his soul was that he was incapable of even the simple act of lifting an arm. He could only watch, sit still as something happened, something he had never seen before. It was not supposed to happen and he knew it.

Toriel was just a room away. He could have yelled for her oh so easily. He could have but he did not: and he didn't know why. His magic was buzzing in the air, a soft glow enveloping the furniture around them. His soul was _screaming_ , ignited by the sheer desire to act, to try. But it all seemed futile. It was there and it was not..

Sans felt _disconnected_.

"Sans...Sans.." she was screaming again. So loud, too. Why wasn't Toriel there already? She _was_ just a room away. So close. Sans was sure she would be able to help. She had to. After all, she was skilled at so many things.

The kid was there, too, probably sleeping in their room. Or maybe not? Sans could hear soft music come from the other end of the hallway. But other than that, the house seemed to be in a deep slumber.

It was just him and _her_ , writhing, whimpering, begging.

He had to do something. Somehow.

Before he knew it, he could move again. He tore his hands from her head first, checking for injuries almost mechanically. When he saw none, the lights in his eyes softened. She had gone quiet, sitting there limp, held up only by him. Her lips still formed empty sounds but she had calmed considerably. And yet, a crazed look still sat in her deep gaze as she stared at him, narrowing them with confusion and something else that just like before, scared Sans to the core of his soul.

 _Recognition_.

But this time, it was not brief. It was there, clear. She knew who he was...and who she had been, maybe. Maybe she knew everything, maybe she could only recall bits and pieces.

She was not supposed to ever remember like this.

"Sans.." she uttered weakly, her voice breathy, close to a plea."Sans, what...what happened?" she gulped and he watched as her tongue darted out to wet her parched lips. He could clearly think of times when he would have been easily distracted by that simple action, when it would have sent a spark of desire up his spine but now.. Now he barely cared. He merely stared because a part of him was too afraid to meet her gaze.

A long sigh escaped him and he pulled her a bit closer, patting her head as if she was just a child. He didn't know what to do or say. Just minutes ago he had yearned for the ability to move but now.. now that he had it he could do nothing. He felt numb to the world around the two of them. Only the two of them existed in their twisted embrace.

"Sans," she whispered."Sans," and again, his name his left her lips : like a broken record she repeated the four letters again and again before she broke down, tears running down her cheeks.

Sans just held her still, awkward and still. He didn't know what to say or do. Did she really remember? Why didn't she say anything? Why was she so...

"What you are doing is stupid,"' she whispered finally, her voice scratchy as she stood up abruptly, almost choking on her tears."You keep bringing me back...when you shouldn't..."

And then she was running off, out of the house. Again, like he was held down by strong arms, Sans couldn't move. He just watched her leave, eyes on her form. He felt life crawl back into his vision: suddenly he heard Toriel walk around and Frisk going to the kitchen for something, probably milk. The moment she had slipped from his grasp, he was aware of their presence again...

And then he was running after her, not caring of how loudly he slammed the door shut or how he probably woke the neighbours as he yelled after her.

And yet, he knew that it was all in vain: he screamed, hollered, yelled..

But nobody came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> considering that im in the middle of a writer's block, I'm glad I could write this haha :D I know that my block will pass but wanted to write something. The end is near tho :/ So..obviously Sans has no idea of what's going on in her head so yea... he will see soon tho :D Next chapter will be from her 'POV' :D why she is like this and such~ and finally..something major will happen <3  
> so stay tuned lovelies <3


	15. And end? And a beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which she begs but he does not follow through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: super short chapter written on phone  
> Explanation is down below

She needed to die.

The thought haunted her with every hurried step she took: with every heavy breath that escaped her burning lungs. She did not belong to the living: she was to fall into the clutches of death. Her existence was a mistake and thus, she was bound to be erased. 

She had seen so much... too much of what had been and what was to be. She was stuck in an endless loop of torture, each phase the same as before..

And yet this time was different.

The night was welcoming her with its icy grasp. She could feel her past creep up behind her: memories swept her off her feet, stronger than any wind. She was on her knees often, stumbling and falling. A mess of vivid colors were blending into her vision painting pictures of her back before it all started. Then Sans and everyone else she had come to know. Each little moment seemed to be repeating. Lines were filled with what seemed like a snapshot of a worried Toriel. A livid Sans. Then Frisk, hopeful as always. 

They kept on swirling, dancing, blooming like firework on pitch black skies. She screamed, tossing her head back.

"Enough," her plea was a holler, one that resembled that of a madwoman. She was shaking like a leaf, paler than the moon that cast its pitiful glow on her. 

And then he was there as well, cold fingers slapping at her flushed cheeks in a desperate attempt to drag her out of her insanity. He yelled: calling her by her name again and again. Clueless as he was as this had never happened before, he knew that he had to do something. Anything. Even if deep down his soul was already breaking: it was well aware that he would be losing her again soon. 

His magic was crackling in the air already. Brirght blue, unseen by the human eye mingled with the crimson of determination. He was prepared, ready to go back again. 

To reset. 

(but it refused)

"N..no!" He heard her choke out right when he was ready to flicker out of this current time and slip into another.

With glassy eyes she shook her head again.

"Don't you see it?" She rasped out, breaths heavy as she felt the weight of so many re-tries (resets) on her shoulders."We just can't keep doing this..." she shook her head."Let me...let me go, Sans. Let me die. Let me die and don't come after me. Please." She was begging, a shaky hand curling into his. Her nails dug into the bone for a moment. It stung just barely: the intent to harm him seemed to be flickering in her. 

"I can't." Was his simple answer. It was a snarl: dark, almost as if he were an animal. He was panting, eyes focusing on her odd frame."I won't let you..go..."

She shook her head, her words rough and almost warped as she asked."Why?" 

"I CAN'T LET YOU GO!" he yelled finally...

And they were back to the beginning once more.

But the determination was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So..i was absent ftom writing ths for a while. First it was a mini writers block...
> 
> And then 'tragedy' struck. Some of you may know alreadh that i am currently an aupair in Scotland....i bought a laptop just for this ocassion but....
> 
> It died after a month. I am really clumsy with my phone (and it's a samsung s7 so who knows when it will explode LOL) so I cant type as much as I wish i could. It's bothering me. But at the moment I am between two choices: get a new laptop or go home for the holidays. Since I haven't been home since the end of July... I would rather go home in December. But because i know thst the internet can make miracles happen I thought that I would share my buy me a coffe link here. Not asking for extreme donations..not even asking for anything really. But if you appreciate my work...(lame nudge nudge lol). 
> 
> By rhe way if anyone is near Edinburgh... i like meeting new people~
> 
>  
> 
> Also pleaaase help me with commenting if you can. I am a little stuck on this story hence the somewhat fillerish chapter. So.... yeah. 
> 
> Kata out.
> 
> https://ko-fi.com/2376KANY9YX3F


	16. Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which it starts again: but something changes.

Sans knew that there was something he had forgotten. Something, no, maybe someone important. But with each day that passed, he became less and less aware of that feeling. Life on the surface was the same as ever, boring to say the least. He had nothing to look forward to. The resets had stopped – and he could not help but wander why the kid had not gotten annoyed by how 'perfect' everything was yet. It was as if they were not the one in control anymore. Sans was glad if that was the case: he liked the peace that they had, even if it seemed only temporary. 

With each week that passed, he knew that a storm was brewing. Humans seemed to resent monsters more than before, almost as if something had set off their hatred. Had he not known how they worked, he would have thought that they had receieved a dose of tainted determination. But that was impossible, for many reasons. He dared not think about what could happen if something like that occurred. But of course, who would even possess something like that? 

The scientist in him was curious: but the person inside (huh) was keen on never finding out just what could go wrong. It was almost as if there were two sides to him, and that was quite funny, for he thought he had needed skin to be two-faced. But the skeleton decided that until something happened, he could wait. If something did go horribly wrong.. He would have the chance to turn it back. Somehow, that is. 

Sans felt disconnected, as if there was something missing from the puzzle that he had so carefully placed together. But that could not be it: and he knew. Something else had to be going on.

But why did he care again? What was there for him to look forward to, other than his bro's spaghetti, really? 

 

She floated in peace for once, warmth enveloping her frail form. She had longed for this, even without ever knowing. Her mind finally free of the troubles of past and present, her soul was whole. Determination had seeped out through the cracks that had littered it, but it was love that came to patch it back up each moment it tried to truly give up. She had always been a little broken: and that had been her role in this universe. But was that right? To be some kind of object that had to be glued together again and again? She at first, she could recall instances when she had snapped like that, or when she realized just what she had to do to erase it all. But then, the memories faded into the knowledge that she would never need them again, for something had changed. Her will had been stronger. 

She had wanted to step out of the patient shell she had been: she wanted to stop waiting to be salvaged: 

To be the one saved by someone who wasn't quite whole themselves. 

And yet, at those moments, or maybe hours? She cared not for those that she had left behind. She could relax, forgetting all the pain and the sufferings she had gone through. Each time it had been worse, leaving invisible marks on her heart and body. But now, there was time for her to heal.

She was not alone. Her soul knew, but it was easy to ignore the presence of the someone lingering around her. 

She knew she would not have to confront him either, for she would be gone before they could meet. It was familiar, this white pond of serenity, even if she had never been there before. Maybe in her dreams, she had once created a place like that. Maybe, she had sown these tales with her innocent imagination : but maybe, it had been there, lurking in her all along.

Sometimes, she heard voices. An agonized scream, begging, pleas of someone she thought she knew: but there was no choice in trying to go back. She could not force waking up. Or would she have to be born again? It was unclear, for each moment that passed, she knew less about the world she was waiting to sneak back into. This Heaven in her Hell of an existence was finally filling in the crevices in her very being and with that, another chance for her had been crafted. 

As her eyes fluttered open, she knew that this would be the last time they could try. Who was the other part of them? She did not know, and with trembling hands and an oddly clear mind, she wondered if she even wanted to find out. 

For once, it was her that was in control. And that was maybe the most terrifying thing of them all. Her fate had always been written by someone else's pen. And yet now, she was given the chance to use her own hands to scribble down the story that was meant to be hers in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well.  
> I never forgot about this story, but needed wayyy too long to go on with it, for selfish reasons :D in the time that passed I became a professional ghostwriter (yes, crappy writers can sell their stuff too, people are desperate apparently) and had little time. I'm clearing off my list and needed to sort of get away from the stuff I've been doing so.. yeah. here this is :D   
> YOU DON'T HAVE TO UNDERSTAND IT YET. LOL  
> I'm honestly using fanfictions to experiment with writing styles so.. :D But I'm more than happy to read your comments or anything on it, and will try to reply to everyone <3 they do keep me writing when things get dark (or when people stop paying...okay not really :P) the good news is that I'm going to stop writing for cash for a while in January, so expect updates sometimes :D I'm moving to Spain of alll places, but I'll work only x hours a day so I'll see what happens lol (SUN, SUN HERE I COME).  
> anyway, I hope some people still gonna read this  
> sorry for the delay but the results should be sweeter this way?


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